Fade and Remain
by BelovedSlayer
Summary: Buffy attempts to move on after sending Angel to the hell dimension, but discovers that when they're apart, the connection between them remains, even if it means having to face his newly found hatred for her. One-shot.


Title: Fade and Remain

TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Author: Beloved Slayer

Rating: T

Summary: Buffy attempts to move on after sending Angel to the hell dimension, but discovers that when they're apart, the connection between them remains, even if it means having to face his newly found hatred for her. One-shot.

Author's Notes: Takes place before the start of season three. Alternate universe. Some warnings applied, including a slight change in Buffy mythology that relates to becoming a vampire. Happy reading!

Chapter One

He could feel the shackles digging into his blistered skin, pushing him to the point of producing a howl of sheer agony in its wake. He could feel his eyes matting with tears for the thousandth time that day, the drops of sweat protruding across his forehead, leaving tendrils of hair damp against a scalp that was burning with too much intensity for his comfort.

He couldn't place an answer as to how long he had been there, but possibly ninety-nine years from what he could gather. His spirits were beyond broken, his bare body defeated and injured beyond the state of repair.

Cuts, hairline fractures, and deep bruises marred his once handsome features while his lips remained brittle; dying of a simple thirst that is often ignored by his demonic adversaries.

His stomach viciously growled, urging him to feed, but he barely managed to slump his shoulders in response. Nothing would be able to fix the insatiable hunger. As each torturous day and night passed, so would his soul, or what was left of it.

He could feel the humanity tearing itself apart, carefully leaving a sleeping monster as its potential replacement. He was well aware that it would only be a matter of time before his memories of her, the memories that were miraculously keeping him alive, would disappear into a void, forever lost.

At this, he released yet another howl; this time allowing the pain to blur with the taste of tears that were kissing at the parched lines aligning his mouth. The shackles that imprisoned him rattled relentlessly against the stone wall in a desperate attempt to break itself free from eternal damnation.

In spite of his withering humanity, he would search for a way back to the only home he knew and loved.

The home that was her arms.

BABABABABABABA

For the thousandth night, she abruptly rose from the duvet covers, a heavy weight settling upon her chest, leaving her slightly breathless as she struggled to regain her composure.

It was a weight that had been inexplicably brought forth the night after she had sealed Acathla, squeezing and constricting the blood flow that led to the strongest muscle in her body: her heart.

Over the course of the months, it had never wavered, never lessened, much to the unanswered cries and curses to the forces from above. And for that thousandth night, she presses her hands against her face, knowing that the tears that became all too familiar were about to spring into an uncontrollable release.

"Oh…Angel," she shutters, her face contorting in pain and confusion as the covers were thrown aside with reckless abandon. "How can I move on… if I can feel your pain? Everything I feel from you….hurts so damn much. And it never stops. It's always there…"

In the center of her faintly lit room, she drops to her knees, her body overcoming with shivers as her breathing began to take in short gasps. She blinked against falling tears as a searing pain ripped through her torso, causing her to keel over. Seconds later, she felt the tremors taking place. Silently, she cursed.

_Why now, damnit? _

Perfume bottles lining the bedside table began to topple, leaping onto the carpeted floor as the bedroom lamp clanked against the vanity mirror.

"No," she forced herself to speak in spite of the pain that continued to grasp at her.

Then as suddenly as it had come, the tremors froze. And so did the pain that had torn at her for the excruciating days and nights she endured.

_Someone is here to see you. Go to him, Slayer. He is waiting. _

A baffled expression flitted her face, before the realization dawned on her. _No, it couldn't be…could it? _

Flushed with tears, she forces herself to rise to her feet, trying to suppress the hope that was now enveloping her. Instinctively, she knew where to go. Without having a care for the garments she wore, she leaped gracefully through the open window, bare feet landing precisely onto the moist blades of grass.

_I'm coming for you. Hold on…_

She rushes past the shops of downtown Sunnydale, losing herself in the cool breeze of the late evening, more trails of tears slipping against her cheeks, spilling onto the cement pavement behind. Moments later, she reached the entrance of Weatherly Park, the singing of crickets the only sounds that could be heard within the perimeter. She approached the area with caution, muscles taunt and alert.

She didn't dare call out his name, but in a last minute, she poured every emotion unto its release.

"Angel?"

At once, she felt the familiar tingle setting within the pit of her stomach, confirming her suspicion. A sound of leaves rustling startled her. Taking a step forward, she crouched to her knees. Before she could go any further, a growl emanated uncomfortably from behind, informing her that she was no longer alone.

Her body stiffening, she whirled to face the location of the sound, only to peer into the darkened eyes of the man she had once loved, his face merely inches from her.

"Angel?" she cried. Relief lilted her voice, but the Slayer's instinct had also signaled a warning to create some semblance of distance from him. Studying his appearance, a bestial expression crossed his dingy face, displaying various signs of having endured an endless amount of torture.

Her heart dropped as she realized what she had done. Her lips began to quiver, but she couldn't allow her emotions to be brought to the surface. Forcibly, she took a step forward. He growled mercilessly in retaliation, warning her to keep her distance.

"I'll hurt you," he stated coldly, raising an arm to prevent her from moving any further.

"Who did this to you?" she ignored his words, her eyes lingering. Her heart thudded with both fear and anticipation, preparing for the unexpected that might arise.

He bristled, taking his time before responding.

"_You_ did."

_You _sent me there. _You _tortured me," he continued harshly, his cold breath tickling her skin as her fear increased a thousand fold.

_An ounce of humanity is all that is left in him. Appeal to his heart. Only you can save him. _

Without anticipating his movement, she felt his body tackling her onto the ground, his pale fingers digging painfully into her shoulders as she yelped, struggling to break his hold.

"_I hate you for leaving me there. You didn't care. You didn't love me. All fabricated lies just to believe you." _

"That is not true!" she snarled, gritting her teeth, her eyes blinding with wetness. Desperately, she released her arms, using her strength to press his head forward, attempting to do the unthinkable.

She caught his lips against hers.

His arms and legs thrashed wildly in an attempt to free himself, but she held on, her tongue lashing violently against his as she pulled his damaged body into her gentle embrace, not willing to let go. After what felt like an eternity, exhaustion wafted from him. She rose to her knees, leaning against a nearby willow tree as she places his head upon her lap. She presses a kiss to his forehead as he gazed at her with both bitterness, love, and disbelief.

"How could you think that I didn't love you? You're the one freaky thing in my world that always made sense to me. You still do. My love for you will never change. It hasn't before, and it won't now. You have to believe that. And I'm so sorry that I had to do what needed to be done. If there had been any other way..."

She discontinues and pulls him even further into her arms, letting the pent up emotions from months past to be seen in her eyes. Neck, lips, shoulders, any part of his body that was able to absorb her love and spare his humanity, she would kiss. And she felt his own tears pooling against her lap.

"I was so afraid that I'd never see you again. And…I lied. You're what's kept me alive. Even when they were shredding every part of me limb by limb. I shouldn't have said…"

She silenced him with another fierce kiss to his lips, aware of how parched they were. Not uttering a word, she captured a broken branch that laid motionlessly against the caked earth. Creating a sharpened point, she slid it across her wrist, a thin line of blood developing.

Immediately, his nostrils flared, his hunger one of intense need.

"Drink," she ordered. He tugged her arm towards him, his mouth already lapping against the vein. She fell into a wave of ecstasy as his fangs sank deep into her wrist, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as she let out a soft groan. "Angel," she murmured, her chest heaving, her legs thrashing. She knew eventually that this moment would bring her to orgasm. As it had done so before.

Almost without thinking, she dug her nails into his shoulder, drawing blood as he continued to drink. "Angel." An animalistic growl rose from his chest as he licked his lips, lost in the taste of the essence that was hers.

"Bite me," her eyes brimmed with desire, her voice taking on a husky tone. He stood to meet her eyes, his own studying every feature that made her beautiful to him. Another growl permeated as he tilted her neck to the side. Inhaling her scent, he bides his time, using his cold tongue to taste the pureness of her skin.

For the second time, he sinks his fangs, this time into her throat. She gasps as her orgasm reached its peak, her arms flailing and clawing at flesh of his hips, his name lolling seductively on her tongue.

"My turn," he whispers against her ear, blood dripping from his mouth. He digs his fangs into his wrist, leaving a trail of his own blood, urging her to taste.

He caresses her face in a protective and soothing manner, his expression pleading with her to drink the cool liquid, to strengthen their bond that the world had been solely against.

She saw the urgency in his eyes, the sense of hesitation disappearing completely as her tongue tasted something that it had never tasted before.

Soon she fell asleep in his arms, stirring to remember the last word he had spoken before she entered the world of dreams.

"Always mine."

A/N: Did Buffy changed into a vampire according to how it was shown in the show? Well, that's up to you guys to decide, hehe. And this one-shot wasn't supposed to be as lengthy as it was, but somehow it did. Whoops.


End file.
